Throwback Thursday ~ 25 Things That Piss Me Off

I wrote this post about a year ago and realize that all these things still annoy me and I could probably add to the list but I will just make a Part 3 instead.  But I have chosen this post for my Throwback Thursday pick!


Things That Piss Me Off Mad Anger Annoying

Another 25 things that really put me in a tizzy…you can see the first 25 here.

People at bars these days…did I act that stupid when I was young?

People In Bars Things That Piss Me Off

When my little monsters decide that they want to nap at 5 in the evening and then stay up half the night.

Anything relating to cleaning.  I usually just turn on an episode of “Hoarders” and then realize that my house looks just fine.


The Raiders football team along with The Chiefs and The Chargers.

My husband’s smoking.  Although he is in the process of quitting.

(UPDATE:  He quit for a minute and has finally realized that he can’t casually smoke while drinking, he started Chantix again yesterday…let’s keep our fingers crossed that it sticks this time)

The 1st of the month at Wal-Mart.  Have you ever been to Wal-Mart on the 1st of the month?  I would highly suggest NOT doing it.

When I order food and they get it wrong.  I never complain about it either cause I am afraid they will take it back and spit in it….I do however leave a reflection of it in my tip.  I have also been known to leave notes on the backs of my receipts to let them know why their tip wasn’t more.  And if you are ever mad about an order from a fast food establishment…call the corporate office and complain!  They will send you coupons for FREE stuff!

When a TV show that I love either ends or gets canceled for no reason!  This is especially true when I watch a first season of something and LOVE it and then it never gets a second season.  And I am just left dangling about what happened.  So annoying!

Pissed Off My Show Was Cancelled

When the temperature gets over 100 degrees.  Anything over 100 is just plain hot, hot, hot!

When I am out of wine vodka whiskey beer booze.  This is a shitty bad situation for all of those around me as well.

Recently my neighbors have made me mad asking that my husband and I keep it down in our own backyard.  And it was just the two of us!

Getting old.  My mind says I am 20 something but my body has a tendency to tell me otherwise.

When I spend precious time watching a horrible movie.  I feel like it is just such a waste of my time.

Bored Pissed Off

When I forget to take said movie back to Redox and end up paying way too much for it.  That really irritates me!

Toys!  Everywhere there are toys!  Because some days I am just too fucking preoccupied busy to constantly tell the kids to pick up their toys.

Stepping On A Lego Toys

Trying to think about “What’s for dinner” every single day!

Sticky floors.  Especially summertime when Watermelon is in season and popsicles.

When someone asks me the same question that I already answered a few times before.  My husband is notorious for this.

Liars.  I can’t stand people who lie.  Especially when the truth was so much easier to tell rather then a snowball of lies.

Solicitors.  I even have a “No Soliciting” sign on my front door and those beepity beep beep beepers still ring my doorbell.  Which then rally’s up the kids and my nerves!

PMS.  Probably the cause of this entire rant!

Whirlpool Corporation.  You can read all about that story here.  I am actually surprised it took me this long to mention them.

(UPDATE:  After all the fuss I made and being blocked from their Twitter, they did finally replace the part at their own cost…it now sits in my garage as a back-up washer.)

Every time that something in my house breaks.  I mean what happened to shit lasting?  Nothing is made right anymore.  Yes I realize I have a large family but seriously so were most of the families I knew growing up and they had shit that lasted for d-e-c-a-d-e-s!

When my kids keep getting up after I have put them to bed.  I have a great story about that here.  Make sure you watch the video narrated by Samuel L. Jackson.  It’s hilarious but make sure your kids aren’t in “ear” distance.  The F-bomb is said….A LOT!

Yours Truly,

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9 More Sleeps

9 more sleeps.

This morning I kept mumbling that to myself in my head whilst trying to get the kids up and ready for school.  I’m pretty sure I mumbled it out loud after telling my 3 year old, for the fifth or sixth time to please go use the potty (because inevitably if I don’t remind her then she waits until she is fully dressed and then suddenly remembers she has to go), I said it out loud and clear after explaining to my 6 year old that YES he must put clean underwear on everyday…even if he doesn’t happen to take a shower that morning…HE MUST PUT CLEAN UNDERWEAR ON!  And what is so hard about changing one’s underwear anyway! UGH!

Oh and let’s not leave the 4 year old out of this, who took 5 minutes to decide exactly what it was she wanted for breakfast.  Like she literally just stood there…staring into nowhere while me, her mother, is about to lose her shit!

motherhood humor overload vacation

It didn’t help that I was awakened for the third day in a row waaaaaay before my alarm was due to go off and when the light started to shine through the blinds and I peeked through them, and what should appear???…..CLOUDS!  Everywhere CLOUDS! NO SUN!!!  It’s the end of March and it’s 27*F when we left for the school run.

Which brings me to my teenager, who has his driving permit.  He took it upon himself by getting in the car before me this morning  and decided that he was going to drive the school run.  As you can see I am still here to write about it but let’s just say that his parking skills are in need of help and I am quite certain that the bottom of my front end has some lovely new scrapes from coming in contact with the curb.  **sighs and grits teeth**.

kids parenting humor motherhood

9 more sleeps.

This is when a long awaited and much needed, KIDLESS vacation begins.  I have checked the weather where we are going and the day after our arrival it is supposed to be 86*F and SUNNY!!!  And you know where I am going to be?  Laying by the pool, basking in the glory of that sunshine.  With sunscreen of course.  And a cocktail. And no one saying “MOMMY, MOM, MOTHER, MOMMY, MOM…???”

Now yes, I know that this is going to be the longest I have ever been away from my kids, and I know that I am going to miss them because even when I have a mommy day in the city for 1 day I miss them, but today I am not sure if my cycle is getting ready to start or I am just plain in motherhood overload but 9 more sleeps can’t get here fast enough!!!

bad day motherhood overload vacation
And it’s not even noon yet!
*Disclaimer:  Love my kids to infinity and beyond but today is a “let’s cut the shit, motherhood isn’t always a bed of roses, sometimes it’s more like a long walk on a bed of legos with bare feet” kind of day!

One nerve away from crazy,

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Cool? Not Cool

Recently my 15 year old monster M came to his father and I suggesting that he wanted a long board.  It’s like a skate board but with a longer board and usually pointed at one or both ends.

long board teenagers parenting accident

Now let’s just say that my 15 year old, like most typical teenage boys his age, often don’t think before attempting to do something they think is “cool”.

Well last weekend he decided to try a leap of faith right down one of the steep hills in which our neighborhood resides.  And when I say steep I mean like somewhere between 90* angle and vertical.   This resulted in a crash landing and let’s just say the pavement won.

When we bought the long board we also bought him a helmet.  But do you think he was wearing it?  NO!  Of course not, cause that would be “uncool”.  Luckily he didn’t hit his head but scraped his body up pretty badly, particularly the palm of his hand which I am quite certain upon observation was missing about 1/8 inch layer of skin.  This would be the same hand that last year he scraped riding a skate board down the same hill.  You think he would have learned his lesson.  Nope, not our boy.

long boarding equipment safety
See this guy?  He appears to be super cool and guess what?  Is also wearing all the right safety gear!

For the past several days he has been applying antibiotic ointment (I must have 10 tubes of that stuff in this house) and wrapping it and keeping it clean.  He has also been seeing the school nurse throughout the day to get it cleaned and wrapped as well.

So today, much to my surprise, I get a phone call from the school nurse.  I was in Zumba class so I didn’t hear it but I do check my phone in between songs just in case there is an emergency.  The number was a school number so I stepped outside to listen to the message.  As I am listening to it my phone starts ringing again and it’s my son’s phone number.

I answer.

It’s the school nurse calling me from my son’s number.  Before I can even get the words out that I had just got done listening to her message, she starts going on the entire spiel again.  For like 5 minutes she is telling me about my son’s hand and that she feels it needs to be checked by a doctor…which she also had put in the message.  So I tell her that I will make an appointment, thanks for calling me, and we hang up.

And I am irritated.

For one, unless his arm has fallen off, or there’s a bone broken, or an actual emergency…there is no reason to call my phone twice.  Yes I realize that it was just a Zumba class but I would have gotten the message when I was done and called the doctor’s office and made an appt.  Which is exactly what I did…when I was done.  He has an appointment today.

What baffles me more is that I am constantly reading on my small towns Facebook pages about the fact that there are kids being bullied and stuff happening at school that no one of authority seems to want to get involved in.  Yet here is my son, with his scraped hand, and suddenly I am called twice.

So now I sit here, wondering if the school nurse thinks we are awful parents because we didn’t take him to the doctor when it first happened.  Or that we haven’t been checking it every night to see how it is doing.  Personally I can’t stand to look at things like that, if I could then I would have been a nurse.  I can handle just about every other bodily fluid but blood….nope.  But he’s also a 15 year old boy who should know if it’s getting better or worse.

 quotes teenagers be yourself cool 
I am also just plain irritated because he really needs to learn to stop and think before he does something he finds to be “cool”.  Even the friend that he was with, who has ridden a long board for quite some time, said he wouldn’t have tried something so stupid.

So could someone please tell me why my son thought it would be such a fab idea?


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My Body Hates Me

Do you ever get the feeling that you are trying to accomplish something but certain things keep getting in the way of grasping the goal you have set out to achieve?  Well that’s how I have felt the past couple weeks.

I am also starting to get this crazy idea in my head that ever since I stopped consuming wine on a daily basis,  my body is going through some kind of metamorphosis.  My cycle is all out of whack.  And I am not referring to my bicycle.  I am referring to the bloody fact of nature that we as women get once a month.  Pun intended.

menstrual cycle period humor

Now normally I wouldn’t care that she wanted to veer off track and get lost, be late, not show up on time…but the hubs and I are planning a trip coming up.  Our fist trip, ALONE, NO KIDS, and I kid you not if she ruins my plans I will throw my uterus in the road and use it as target practice.

Ok maybe that’s a little harsh.

Or not.

But did I mention that my hubby and I haven’t had a week’s vacation ALONE….EVER???  In the over 7 years we have been together?

Then last week  I went to the gym on Wednesday….twice.  I worked out new muscle groups…worked them hard…went to Zumba.  Even got a lot of housework done that day.  I had felt this little heaviness in my chest but just brushed it off as old man winter still messing with my health.

I came home from Zumba, took my nice hot Epsom salt bath, put on some comfy pajamas and settled down to watch a movie with the hubs.  Fire was going and I was bundled up in a blanket but I was chilled to the bone.

Went to bed only to wake in the middle of the night with the worst chills and body aches since having Mastitis over 6 years ago.

By morning I couldn’t tell which were body aches and which were muscle aches from the muscles I had worked out at the gym the previous day.  All I knew was that I was in pain, from head to toe, and literally couldn’t move except to shake from the fever chills.

I am quite certain I dosed off momentarily and saw the Grim Reaper coming for me.  Ok maybe just an exaggeration but with the way I felt it mine as well have been true.

Thank goodness the hubs was off that day because I could barely move to get to the bathroom to pee. sick flu cooties illness humor And nothing…I mean N*O*T*H*I*N*G that I took relieved a single symptom.  Not Ibuprofen.  Not Thera Flu.  Not DayQuil.  Not Tylenol.  NADDA.  I seriously contemplated downing half a bottle of whiskey and calling it a day.

I started a round of antibiotics.  But even after being on them for a few days I was still getting fevers and body aches.  And here it is a week later and I am feeling better but the fatigue from this is really starting to become annoying.

I don’t have time to be tired!

I am a mother!

And being that my kids keep getting sick in circles as well…I need to be able to take care of them.

It’s interfering with my workout routine!

And I am sick of waking up with my mouth feeling like the Sahara desert!

And I am sick of complaining about being sick!

So I am thinking that maybe wine is in order???

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When Is Candy Too Much Candy?

candy kids nutrition hyper

Yes I know it’s the holidays and everyone is buying and making holiday goodies (except me of course).  I still have a bag of Halloween candy sitting in the safe in which I plan to throw away ….tomorrow!  (I say that everyday but for some reason it’s still in there)

It seems like lately, everytime I pick my kids up from school they have some kind of candy or even bags FULL of candy! Why?!?!?!

Why must we send the kids home with bags of candy that I then just have to turn into asshole mean mommy and take them away and dispense at my discretion?  Yes I am that kind of mom and before you go thinking I’m mean or start judging me, let me just tell you that my kids, after having sugar, are like tweakers jumping out of the bushes at Wal-Mart….hyper and scary!

kids candy hyper eating habits nutrition

And let’s discuss the chocolate milk sold at school.  Before little monster M started school he had chocolate milk maybe twice in his little 5 years of life.  Why give them any other option besides plain milk?  Wouldn’t it save the school system money to have less options?

Oh I already hear the comments in my head of the parents who say “Well that’s the only way my kids will drink their milk”.  As if somehow filling it full of sugar is then helping in the source of calcium they are getting.  I can assure you it’s not.

I realize that our generation grew up doing a lot of “food related” things differently but I also believe that’s why we have such an obesity and other health related problems due to bad eating habits.  I now realize that the pan fried hamburger that my grandmother served me as a kid WASN’T GOOD FOR ME.  But back then we just didn’t know any better.  Now we do.  Unless of course you haven’t read anything about nutrition and somehow live in the dark age.

Now, don’t get me wrong, yes I still give my kids “bad” stuff sometimes…key word here sometimes, but for the most part I try to make sure that they have fish, healthy carbs, and fresh vegatables.  My kids will eat lightly steamed broccoli (without cheese sauce) like it’s potato chips.  And yes there are times that they will turn their noses up at something in which I don’t force them to eat it as long as they have tried it, but there are consequences such as no snacks the next day between lunch and dinner.  Starve your children and they will pretty much eat anything.  **evil laughs**

I know we are busy moms and there are times that mac and cheese from the box **gasps** and Oscar Meyer hot dogs **shrieks** get served and it’s OK.  Just not ALL THE TIME.  Fast food….yep my kids get it as a treat once a week after I pick them up from school….buuuuuut….they will choose apple slices over french fries.  Yep you read that right, my kids are not big fans of french fries….really not fans of potatoes in general.  And when I make a potato dish as a side for dinner, and they don’t like it, I cannot bring myself to force them to eat it.  I mean seriously life would be so much easier for me if I didn’t like potatoes.

Rant over…


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I Hate Days Like This

Every so often I have one of “these” days.  I swear I blame it on the W_I_N_D!  It starts from the time the little monsters rise and continues until bedtime!

First monster M woke up sometime around 5am with a tummy ache.  Any time my kids say they have a tummy ache I tell them to go sit on the toilet and try to poop.  9 times out of 10 the fact they have not pooped in the last 24 hours is reason behind the tummy ache.  So she wanders into my bathroom and I “think” I dosed back off to sleep…I am not sure because I swear it seemed like seconds later and she was yelling “Mommy! I’m done!”…pause…”Mommy! Do you hear me?!?!”  With one eye open I stumble to the bathroom to wipe said child’s ass.  Any other time of day she would have successfully wiped her own ass but because it’s 5am she wants me to do it. We wash hands and crawl back into bed… What seems like moments later, the morning alarm goes off.  Let the day of  crankies begin.

It starts with not being able to decide what we want for breakfast and then crying on the floor of the kitchen.  My Keurig wasn’t brewing that coffee fast enough I tell you.  I actually contemplated removing it half full and then finishing it off with vodka and Bailey’s.  I refrained.  She finally decided she didn’t want anything to eat and that she just wanted to lay on the couch with her blanket because she didn’t feel good.  Luckily my teenagers are home on spring break…did I just refer to that as lucky?…well I guess for today it was because I was able to just hop in the truck with monster B Man in tow and off to the preschool we went.

All was fine…until I got back home.  Another meltdown by monster M because she was upset that she didn’t go to school!  Trying to explain to a 3 year old why they should stay home when not feeling well is like trying to saw wood with a fingernail file.  By the time I got her convinced that it wasn’t the end of the world …it was time to pick monster B Man up again.

Nothing has gone right since waking up.  It’s been one meltdown after another.  I had to make a phone call to switch service with a company and they had me on the line for over half an hour.  Toddler nation just simply does not let mommy talk on the phone for even 1 minute let alone 30!

One Of These Days

Frustrated Momster,

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