In my Timehop today there was a picture of a writing challenge that I obviously took a picture of and was thinking that perhaps I would try and do it and then didn’t. Blogging is kind of like housework sometimes…I am easily distracted and get off course.
It’s going to be a challenge just finding the time to sit down everyday and write about each thing on the list…but I am going to give it a whirl.
The first day is…Your Current Relationship, if single, discuss how single life is.
Well I am not single so let me share the boring juicy details of my current relationship, which is marriage.
The King of the house and I met back in 2008. He found his winning prize…yours truly…on yahoo personals. I was living the single life with no kids and no responsibilities …well unless you count work and bills as part of those.
I have to admit that I was a little intimidated by him upon meeting him in person for the first time. But a couple beers later and I was like *here’s my number…stop staring at my boobs…and call me if you want to hang out again.* He was blowing up my phone with text messages 10 minutes later even though he will never admit it. You know guys and how smooth they think they are.
It wasn’t long before we were attached at the hip *grins* if you know what I mean. And over the course of the next 3 years we would add three more children to the two he had when we got together.
Let’s fast forward to current day.
We will be celebrating our 8 year wedding anniversary on May 20th. It’s really hard for me to wrap my head around the fact that I have been in a relationship for that long. My previous relationships never made it past 5 years. It had actually become a joke between my friends and I. It was like a 5 year “you’re fucking out of here” curse.
Luckily there were never any children involved.
Now I’m not saying that we haven’t had some close calls of calling it quits but I really just don’t think there are any other people that could put up with either one of us. We are both stubborn headed, I’m a little crazy, he’s a bit of an asshole, but somehow together we manage not to murderterminateslaughterbutchermassacresnuffdispose of kill each other. I mean those thoughts never even cross my mind. **picks up her halo and places it gently back over her devil horn**
But like I have written before “marriage takes work” and “doesn’t run on auto pilot“. You have to be able to laugh together, take time for one another(or sometimes away from each other), and you have to learn to pick your battles…may I suggest only picking the ones you know you can win…just saying.
My husband and I have decided divorce isn’t an option unless we just grow to literally hate one another or I stab him in the leg with a fork. Whichever comes first. Otherwise, we are lifers!
I’m linking this post with the following fab linkys
Well I am almost 2 months into my “get healthy” plan and I am discovering so many things. Like for instance, to chuck the fucking scale in the trash stay off the scale. I am not kidding ladies…the scale is truly our demon and we don’t realize how much our bodies fluctuate throughout the month between hormones, stress, and all those other shitty things that come along with being a woman. So I have decided that I am officially staying off the scale for the entire month of April.
Currently I am doing something called carb cycling. But I changed it up a bit from what I learned about it on the internet. It goes in stages of 3 workout days and then a day of rest with some activity (mine’s usually house cleaning).
The first day is your hardest workout day. This is also the day that you consume the most carbs. I am really wanting to work my upper body and mid-section so on my first day of the cycle I do my back, chest, shoulders, arms, abs, and 20-30 minutes of cardio. I also start off with 200 grams of carbs on this day in which the majority are consumed around my workout.
The second day is butt and leg day. Now I hate doing leg exercises and tons of squats but I am determined that since I have seen actual results of someone who has the same crack in their back, aka booty, that I do, transform into an actual butt, then I shall not skip butt and leg day. On this day I take the carbs from the first day and cut them by a third. Again consuming the majority of them around my workout. Again I also do 20-30 minutes of cardio following my workout.
The third day is high intensity full body workout doing cardio using low weights with fast reps. And on this day I only eat a third of the carbs I started with the first day.
On the fourth day is rest day. And let me tell you, if you don’t hurt from head to toe on this day then you aren’t working out hard enough. I also try to stick to no carbs on this day or if I do have some it’s usually first thing in the morning. And the best thing about rest day is you should feel a burst of energy. Now, resting doesn’t mean lay around and do absolutely nothing. You still should be active. This is the day I usually try to catch up on housework, maybe walk to the park with the kids (that is if the weather is nice), eventually there will be some yard work and gardening thrown in there. But nothing high intensity.
Then repeat the cycle. I am going to do 4 cycles and of course will share my results with you when I am done. Also keep in mind that you can play around with your carb intake. If you are doing 200 grams on the first day but are feeling really sluggish and sleepy the rest of the day, after your workout, then you may want to consume more carbs or consume less around the workout and save some for later in the day.
If you are getting really tired and sluggish during the middle of your workout then this probably means you didn’t get enough carbs to keep you going throughout your workout. Don’t be afraid to experiment. Everyone’s body is different.
I try to do an ab workout everyday…even on my rest days because it is my least favorite area after having 3 kids. I was lucky enough to never get a stretch mark but I am determined to not have to go under the knife or get lypo just to obtain the midsection I want. If you want a great ab workout, click the video below. The first time I tried this workout I couldn’t cough or laugh for two days.
And I didn’t do it at the gym…I used my bed post.
I finally broke down and bought a vegetable spiraler. The first thing I used with it were a green and yellow zucchini squash. I spiraled one of each and then lightly sautéed the spirals in some olive oil, freshly chopped garlic, and seasonings (I was lucky and found a bunch of organic seasonings on sale and bought a bunch). I also made a little pesto to go with it using basil, spinach, lemon, pine nuts, garlic powder, and salt and pepper to taste.
I think next time I will probably just try the zucchini noodles sautéed by themselves as my side dish of veggies. I love pesto but until it starts growing in my garden I won’t be making it because I don’t like spending the 3 or 4 dollars that they want to charge for a very small amount at the grocery store. Basil grows like a weed, literally, and in the summer months I always have fresh basil.
My other favorite recipe was some sautéed shrimp lettuce wraps. Just sauté some uncooked shrimp in a little olive oil, fresh chopped garlic, a little chopped cilantro, and some garlic salt and then place in a romaine lettuce leaf. Sprinkle with some more cilantro, chopped avocado, and some thinly sliced jalapeños and enjoy!
Yep, you read that right folks…today is National Snowman Burning Day and I for one am SICK of winter. Granted, in the following video, the woman doesn’t set the Snowman on fire but she clearly gets her point across. I have watched this video at least a dozen times and laugh my ass off each and every time.
Because I for one can TOTALLY relate.
It seems like we have had snowfall upon snowfall since November. And as much as I love the fact that so many water holes that had been empty are now full, I am ready to put my swimsuit on and get in them, fish in them, boat on them, and camp by them, rather than just look at them on the news or from the highway.
I am ready to soak up some vitamin D in which my body has been lacking the entire winter and I do believe has turned me into a psychopath an albino like zombie. **sprays the self tanner on her skin**
Now there have been a few days of this month that the weather has played with our heads. It’s even gotten up to 70*F, even if it was for only one day. But then the very next day it will be 32*F and snowing outside.
I don’t know whether to get the summer clothes out or just keep buying new winter clothes because my kids are all growing out of the stuff they have had since school started. **thinks of just setting fire to anything that has to do with winter in hopes that it will bring some spring juju**
And then there is that dreadful W word…no not winter…the other one. W-I-N-D. You wake up to see that the sun is peaking through the blinds and you jump out of bed to look outside only to find that your patio furniture is now upside down in a pile against the fence because the wind is blowing 60mph.
And who wants to go out in that?
You can’t even fly a kite because the force of the wind will whip it right out of your hands. Forget about doing your hair…even a messy bun can’t survive the brunt of those gail force winds. The dust blows in your eyes, down your throat, and even into places you didn’t know dust could get into while being fully dressed.
Then there’s the dreaded “couped up indoors with the kids” syndrome. You’ve pulled crafts off Pinterest, played 100 too many games of Sorry, and even done the unthinkable … MADE THEM CLEAN!
There actually isn’t any snow left in our yard right now so there won’t be any celebration of National Snowman Burning Day around here, but perhaps I could find a leftover stuffed one in the clearance isle at our local Wal-Mart and tell the kids we are trying out a new ritual to try and welcome spring.
Burn you damn snowman…I want spring!Cheers To Spring,
I have decided that not only do I want to share my progress with all of those who wish to read about it but I would also like to share with you recipes that I like, exercises that I am doing, and just anything else that comes to mind that I think might help others.
My newest found addiction was stumbled upon while doing my morning cardio on the treadmill. I had decided that I wanted to find a knowledgable person who could give me some tips on achieving the goals that I wish to achieve. And where else to find such a person but the glorious land of YouTube. I found a girl by the name of Jen Heward and I absolutely am intrigued by everything she has to say. Below is the first video I watched and I was instantly hooked.
The thing I like about Jen (besides her goofiness) is the fact that she gears towards women and how OUR bodies work. She also has the same troublesome areas of the body that I do which helps in getting to my goals.
She’s also a great motivator. If there is a morning…like today for instance…that I just want to sit in my chair, binge watch TV, binge eat, and have nothing to do with exercise, I just pull up one of her videos and am instantly motivated. Even if it’s just a short workout, it’s still doing something.
If you would like to check out her website which has some awesome recipes and supplements just click here. I recently purchased the BCAA powder in pink lemonade flavor. It shipped to me in 2 days (even though it said 5-7) and I tried it out today and loved it! Not only does it taste great but it gives you energy without the jitters and helps with muscle healing during and after weight training.
I have been trying to keep to a clean eating lifestyle. It’s going to take some time and serious commitment, especially on days like yesterday when I had to take 3 kids to dentist appointments at the same time, we were there for nearly 3 hours, and by the time I got home they weren’t willing to wait for me to make dinner. So to avoid them gnawing my arm off, I ordered pizza. And of course I had to have a piece of said pizza. And then I decided that since I was already falling off the wagon I mind as well just get off the whole damn wagon completely and indulge myself into a glass, or two, or entire bottle of wine.
And so I did.
My favorite clean eating recipe of the week was my salmon, asparagus, and mushrooms all done in one pan.
Heat the oven to 425*F
Line a baking sheet with tin foil and spray with cooking spray
Trim the bottoms of the asparagus
Cut the mushrooms (I used baby portabellas) into quarters
Make sure your salmon is thawed. The best salmon to use for clean eating is wild caught. They sell it in the frozen section at War-Mart.
In a good-sized bowl mix together about a cup of olive oil, fresh finely chopped garlic, juice of one lemon, onion powder, and cayenne pepper (optional) **likes her food a little spicey like her sex everyday life.
Mix ingredients well with a whisk
Place the vegetables in the bowl until well coated then arrange them onto the foiled pan making sure you have some liquid left for the salmon (which is set aside for now). I also thought to myself if I had time and would have thought about it, I would have marinaded everything in the mixture before hand but I will have to do that next time.
Sprinkle with salt and pepper to taste
Pop the vegetables in the oven for about 10 minutes
Take the pan out and place the salmon on the pan. Drizzle the rest of the mixture over the fish and veggies and feel free to season the salmon as you wish. (I use McCormick’s Steak Seasoning for EVERYTHING…I even sprinkled some on the veggies) Pop the pan back into the oven for about another 5 to 10 minutes depending on how you like your salmon cooked and then plate and enjoy!
The best things I learned this week are that I should do my weight training before my cardio and that I don’t have to spend hours a day doing cardio. I also learned that women shouldn’t be afraid to lift heavy. You will not bulk up like a man unless you take steroids. In that case you may end up looking like this…
When I look at that picture I see a man with a blonde wig but who am I to judge what someone wants to look like. I just want to tone the flabby parts, not turn into the Incredible Hulk.
I also bought some weights and a yoga mat (I’m tired of getting up from the rug in my bedroom to find myself covered in dog hair) from the store this week. I like to try out some of Jen Heward’s workouts at home before making a fool of myself at the gym. Let’s face it, no matter how good I think I am doing something right there are times I know I must look like this…
It’s now been a month into my journey of trying to become a better version of me. I decided to do things a little differently from last year as to try not to set myself up for failure.
I don’t deprive myself. I eat and snack but make sure to count my calories. My FitBit app has a counter on it, that even comes with a food scanner, which makes it very easy to keep track throughout the day. I also don’t feel guilty enjoying the occasional glass of wine or my new-found cocktail made of cranberry juice and Malibu rum with a squeeze of lime. I allow myself one day a week to indulge and not count calories.
I started out slow with my exercise regimen. It’s still very much winter here so I have been having to get my walking/jogging in via the dreadful treadmill. I started out with 20 minutes and now after only a month am up to over an hour. And I have also started to incorporate weights into my routine as well.
This is the treadmill workout I try to follow most days
I don’t obsess about weight loss. I weigh myself once a week and have lost 6 pounds this month. The key thing people need to remember when working out is that you are gaining muscle which weighs more than fat. Therefore, you will lose inches before losing weight. I can tell, without measuring, by the way my clothes fit much better.
I am trying out an assortment of essential oils. I must say that I intend to eventually invest in a diffuser for every room in the house. So far I am up to 3 and have found a sleep and depression blend that I use often. The sleep blend I use at night in my diffuser which sits next to my bed, and the depression blend I rub into the bottoms of my feet. I’ve also discovered bath bombs which used with my Epsom salt manage to relax me at night and helps with any soreness I have succumbed to throughout the day.
I still have bad days. I’m not going to lie, there are still some days I struggle with not wanting to do much of anything but binge watch television and throw my FitBit at the wall. But I keep it as a reminder of when I’m doing great as well as not so great. Plus I love joining challenges with my friends as I can be very competitive which is great at keeping me on track to making progress. Below are my stats for the last four weeks starting from the end of the month. Each week I try to do better than the previous week. As you can see weeks 2 and 3 I failed at that, but like I said…I still have bad days and it’s ok.
I feel that as long as I am doing something that makes me feel better than that to me…is making progress.
If you have a FitBit and would like to join any of my challenges you can find me via email on the app (tristasim@yahoo.com).
I think that there are so many other mothers like me that have daily struggles with anxiety, depression and the challenges of being a stay at home mom. The problem is most of us aren’t talking about it. I think this is because in many ways we feel weak or that somehow it’s our fault that something isn’t right in our head.
People who don’t suffer from it don’t understand it. They think there’s just some kind of switch. And the most common stereotype are those who look at your life, the life where you have more than most do, and they say to themselves “What in the world does she have to be depressed about? She has everything!”
Everything except the correct chemical balance in the brain.
I was put on Zoloft after I had finished nursing my 3rd baby. I had an appointment with the doctor and I suggested to him that I hadn’t been feeling myself and he instantly just wrote me a prescription for the anti-depressant. I had read a lot about post natal depression and especially from dissolving breast feeding, so I really had no concern.
I was on Zoloft for 3 years. 200mg a day. And one day I realized I still wasn’t feeling myself.
So I decided to go off of it. My mood swings were horrible, I still didn’t feel like doing things most days *like getting out of bed*, and so as most people would do, I decided to make the decision to quit taking something that I felt wasn’t doing a damn thing.
After experiencing brain zaps, body twitches and any other withdrawal symptom, I was finally returning to what I felt was normal.
About 3 months passed.
One morning I woke up and I thought I was having some kind of heart attack or mini stroke only there was no pain in my chest. My heart was palpitating, I was shaking, my stomach felt like I needed to throw up, and I was dizzy and couldn’t focus on much of anything except trying to breathe.
Of course I didn’t go to the doctor. I looked up my symptoms on the internet and everything was telling me to meditate, take deep breaths, and try some yoga positions because I was having a panic attack.
After several hours I finally was able to calm myself down.
In the mornings remaining I would always wake up in a state of panic. Like feeling like the plane was going to crash, only I wasn’t on any plane. I was in bed and just waking up. But the feeling of dread was there. Like literally I felt plagued with it.
About a week later another panic attack occurrred and I went straight to the doctor. My blood pressure was through the roof and he confirmed what I already knew. He said that being on the Zoloft must have kept the panic attacks at bay and even though I had been off of it for 3 months my body was still adjusting.
He put me on Kolonopin, an anti-anxiety medication. I was to take it twice a day, morning and night. Haven’t had a panic attack since.
In the beginning of 2016 I decided it was going to be my year to finally get in shape. I started going to the gym, sometimes twice a day. I found a love for Zumba and watched 28 pounds melt away. I even got my Kolonopin down to once a day.
But even though I was feeling better, had more energy, and getting a good nights sleep, there were still days I was fighting with myself just to get out of bed.
The warm weather started to roll in and by end of May I couldn’t stand the temperature inside the Zumba room so I quit going. And then a few weeks later the kids were out of school and so there went going to the gym too.
Now I realize they were bad choices.
But we had a busy summer planned with camping, swimming, and hiking. But facts are facts and as the summer passed I felt myself feeling worse and worse. I also found myself “self-medicating” by consuming alcohol on almost a daily basis and justifying it with the fact I wasn’t getting drunk, just trying to wind down from the daily struggles of being a stay at home mom of 4 kids. Three of which were still very dependent on me every 2.5 seconds.
By the end of last year I started noticing that I had lost interest in everything that used to be important to me. I stopped blogging. I stopped being creative through my photography and designing. I started distancing myself from family and friends. I even stopped doing craft projects with my kids, which has always been a passion of mine. And instead I started binge watching TV…something I just don’t do on an everyday basis. Sometimes confining myself to my bedroom.
But yet the ambition to do any differently just wasn’t there. I did the bare minimum of what it took to be a mother and a wife.
I decided to go through a series of medical testing through my OB/GYN and my family doctor to see if there was anything that would be causing me to feel so fatigued everyday. I even started seeing a therapist hoping she would have some answers. All my tests came back normal, which was good but I knew that this also meant I was faced with the fact that I will probably have to spend the rest of my life on some kind of an anti-depressant.
Both my doctors and my therapist confirmed what I already knew. Only this time I was put on Wellbutrin at 150mg a day.
I’ve been on it a couple months now and have started getting back to the gym. I’ve even started keeping my alcohol comsumption to a minimal in order to give the meds a chance to work.
I quit going to the therapist as I felt completely drained upon leaving her office because she constantly wanted to drudge up a past that I buried long ago. And also because my insurance only paid for a certain amount of visits and in those 6 visits I felt like I was 20 steps behind from when I started.
Therapy isn’t for everyone. And it wasn’t for me.
I made a choice to try and work this out with the help of a medication I hate, but any person with a chemical imbalance feels that way. We think that when we start to feel better we don’t need it anymore.
This is the start of my journey and the end of me beating myself up over something that has, and never will be any fault of my own.
Happy New Year everyone!!! I really hope everyone enjoyed their holidays…I know I did.
I have decided that at this time I will not be running #momsterslink. I would like to just get back to the basics of enjoying blogging and working on my photography and design projects. I find that when I run the linky I spend most of my blogging time only dealing with the linky and not enough time to write or do other stuff.
As my littles are getting older and aren’t so little anymore, their lives and mine are becoming busier and busier. And I found myself really burnt out at the end of last year. I have lots of stuff to blog about.
I want to thank all of those who took the time to link up with me each and every week and the ones who came from time to time. I will still enjoy reading your blogs…just on my own time and probably through the many other linkys that exist.
So for now I say farewell to the hostessing in linky land but I am looking forward to where I plan to take my blog next.
Hello and Happy Thanksgiving! It has been a busy week for me and due to the holiday and family in town there will be no #momsterslink today. Hope you all enjoy your family time!
After my recent trip to Missouri, I have a lot of appreciation for those who have to travel for a living. Especially after 5 planes, a shitty hotel, a rental car, and 17 hours of trying to get home.
My trip started out great. **places sarcasm in her voice** I got to the airport and had to pee use the restroom. Totally normal since it was a two-hour drive to get to the airport and I was running on nothing but coffee and energy drinks that morning.
I came out of the bathroom when this nice little old lady comes walking up to me to inform me I have paper…that would be the toilet seat paper…hanging out the backside of my pants. I should have known right then and there that the trip was going to be equivalent to that one incident.
Since I wasn’t checking a bag…yes I was going away for 3 whole days and managed to only pack a carry on…then I had plenty of time to kill at the airport. I got some food…a few snacks for the plane ride…charged my phone…and finally started boarding.
Four hours later I landed in Dallas, TX and had a 2 hour layover until my next flight….COCKTAILS! Except every place in the Dallas airport that was close to my gate was packed. Seemed that everyone had the same idea I did. I settled on a Chilis and luckily had a waitress who was on the ball and brought me my margaritas order right away.
Time to board the second plane to St. Louis.
Now the first plane had plenty of overhead cabin space and my carry on fit in there perfectly. But this flight the plane was much smaller and the overhead bins were smaller as well. So I placed my carry on up there and then as I was trying to close the bin to make sure it fit I hit a gentlemen in the head with the corner of the bin door. Luckily he must have had a few margaritas as well and laughed with me about the incident.
2 more hours and a 2 hour time difference it’s now 8:30pm St. Louis time and I land safe and sound. Off to the rental car counter I head.
NO ONE IS THERE. As a matter of fact the entire airport was like a ghost town and it was only 8:30!!! Living in Nevada I am very spoiled about things being open ALL. THE. TIME.
After talking to several airport personnel I am informed that I must take a shuttle to another location to get a rental car.
LOVELY.
It’s dark, I am alone, in a city that I have never been to before, and the lovely shuttle took about 20 minutes to finally pick me up. The lady at the rental car agency was half asleep, handed me my paperwork and told me to take whatever car I wanted in the first two isles.
I took the first car I came to. A black Hyundai Veloster with less than 1oo miles on it. It was sporty and cute…in the dark. In the light it was very compact and I was glad all I had was my purse and a carry-on. And it took 2 days before I realized it was a 3 door car instead of a two door.
All I have to say is THANK GOODNESS for my dear friend Siri because without her I would have had no clue as to where I was going and I had an over two-hour drive ahead of me to get to Ft. Leonard Wood where my hotel was.
I decided to stop at a convenience store that was still open to grab a few snacks just in case that where I was going wasn’t going to have anything open.
I get to my hotel and am actually quite pleased that the area doesn’t scare me.
The lady at the front desk checks me in but then proceeds to tell me that I am to set my clock an hour ahead. Now I am tired…it’s been a long day…but I knew it wasn’t time to forward the clocks. But hey I am in Missouri and again I am tired and I think to myself **well maybe things here are different** After confirming that the lady at the front desk was off her rocker I settle into my room.
Upon my entrance I am quite pleased to see that the room has a full kitchen. I am talking full-sized fridge, a stove, a microwave, and lots of cupboard space that was totally useless but impressive.
As I do with every hotel I immediately took the bedspread off the bed. There’s a 20/20 episode (go ahead and click on it…I bet you will think twice about every hotel you stay at) that did tests on hotel bedspreads and I just happened to make the mistake of watching it and ever since then it’s the first thing I do when I get into a hotel room. REMOVE THE BEDSPREAD.
And then I laid on the bed.
OMFG!
It was like laying on a dog bed in a pile of rocks. NO JOKE. The absolute WORST mattress I have ever slept on. I woke up every morning with the worst back pain I have experienced in years.
The two days I got to spend with my son were great except for the fact that everything in Missouri closes for the winter season except for shopping and restaurants. Therefore we spent most of our time shopping, eating and driving like crazy along the countryside on the crazy winding roads.
So now it’s the morning I have to leave. I had to wake at 3:30am (that’s 1:30am my time) to make sure that I get the rental car back and to the airport on time. One five-hour energy and an energy drink for the drive and I was off. I made the over two-hour trip to and from my hotel in the dark. I will never know what that part of the country looked like but according to my son, I wasn’t missing much.
I got to the airport with plenty of time to spare. The line for security was a little long.
While I was in Missouri I found a blow up Jack Skellington Halloween decoration on clearance for $2o. I had forgotten at the moment while purchasing him that I had traveled with only a carry on. So the night before I had packed my carry on perfectly so that everything would fit.
He was worth every penny and all of the headache to get him home…just look at him.
After going through security…they unpacked my bag and I didn’t have time to re-pack it after the security lady just shoved everything in there and was barely able to get it closed.
When I got to the gate, the gentleman at the counter made me put it in the carry on measure compartment, and I literally had to shove it in there but thankfully he let me board with it. I also had to shove it into the overhead bin hoping that I wasn’t ruining my son’s Army pictures that he had given me. And luckily this time there was no one that succumbed to being my victim of head bashing.
I got settled in my seat and realized that this plane had been the best one so far. It had television and games located on a screen that was attached to the back of the seat in front of me. You just had to have your own headphones. Long gone are the days you have to purchase them on the plane.
Even after a 5 hr energy and 2 energy drinks I plopped up my $20 neck pillow, which I had purchased in the airport, found a music station I liked, placed my headphones in my ears, and quickly fell asleep. It was going to be an over 4 hour flight to LA even though I just needed to get to Reno. Therefore I was going to be flying right over Reno and into LA.
I slept on and off for a little over two hours because let’s face it, sleeping on planes is not comfortable what. so. ever.
I decided to see what I could find on the movies section of my entertainment device. And settled back for the remainder of my flight.
About 20 minutes before landing I realized I needed to use the restroom but I was in the window seat and the gentleman next to me was fast asleep and I didn’t want to disturb him so I told myself that I could just hold it until we landed.
BIG MISTAKE.
We landed on time and I had an hour and 20 minutes until my next flight. Plenty of time right? Well let me just tell you what a cluster fuck the LAX airport is. They had no gate for us to pull up to so we sat on the tarmac for an hour! They told us we had to remain seated in our seats…but I HAD TO PEE and now it was to the point that there was no holding it!
The friendly flight attendant **another sound of sarcasm in my voice** came over to ask me what I needed. I told him I was pretty much going to piss my pants if he didn’t let me out of my seat. He gave me a slightly irritated look and replied, “well if you must go then go”.
Thanks dickhead…I had only been holding it for almost 2 hours now. So here I am, in the restroom closet cabin and the plane is starting to move. I kid you not…I peed for 10 minutes straight swaying back and forth with the movement of the plane.
They finally got us to a gate and off the plane we all shuffled. I had 10 minutes to get to my next gate which was on the other side of the airport via shuttle. For those of you who have never had to experience the true torturehell ordeal of having to travel via LAX well let me assure you that I will avoid it at all costs in the future.
I was literally sprinting while carrying my purse and carry on. Dodging the airport indoor people movers who I swear go faster than they should. And if you don’t move out of their way when they beep the horn, I do believe they would just run over you.
Finally arriving to my gate, huffing, puffing and feeling like my heart was going to explode I was told that they hadn’t even started boarding yet even though my not so up to date app said the flight was on time.
I literally visioned myself hitting the counter people in the head with my carry on. But I realize it’s not their fault and took a seat.
At this point I am thirsty and hungry, which is quickly turning into hangry. And I don’t dare leave the area in fear I will miss boarding. I did not want to miss my flight to Reno…it was my second to the last stretch to home.
After about 20 minutes we finally board.
And we sit.
In a plane without a single empty seat…and no air on.
After about 30 minutes they inform us that the plane is inoperable and we have to get off this plane and wait to board another one.
At this point, my nerves are spent. But there’s no one to get mad at because they are just doing their job and quite frankly I didn’t want to be on a plane that could possibly crash.
Of course there were several passengers who didn’t feel like keeping quiet and decided to make a huge scene which wasn’t helping the matter of getting us re-boarded quickly and on our way.
About another hour passes and finally they have found us a plane! We all shuffle like a herd of cattle to board not caring who is supposed to board first according to groups on their boarding passes.
And do you think they would give us a complimentary drink or anything for our troubles? NOPE! We got nothing except an apology. But at this point, I didn’t really care…I just wanted to get to Reno, and get on the road for the last 2 hour stretch of drive to home.
After a 17 hour day of traveling the only thing I did when I got home was took a shower, put my pajamas on, and went to bed. And slept for 12 hours. And was so thankful that when I woke, it was Saturday and there was no school run, nowhere to go, and nothing to do but sit in a vegetative state in front of the tv.
I am not kidding ladies…the scale is truly our demon and we don’t realize how much our bodies fluctuate throughout the month between hormones, stress, and all those other shitty things that come along with being a woman. So I have decided that I am officially staying off the scale for the entire month of April.
Domesticated Momster 